Recognising that an older person in your life might be experiencing abuse is deeply worrying. However, it can be hard to know what to do next.
The most important thing to know is you don’t need to be 100% certain to reach out for advice or help.
Elder abuse can happen in many ways and is often underreported. Many older people who experience abuse never seek help. They may feel ashamed, fear repercussions or the harm comes from someone they trust, including family. Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, social or sexual and includes neglect.
Key Signs to Look Out For
Abuse often shows up in small, subtle changes in behaviour or finances.
Financial Warning Signs
- Unexplained bank transfers or withdrawals
- Missing cash, cards or personal valuables
- Sudden changes to their will, power of attorney or property ownership
- Unpaid bills piling up when they should have enough money to cover them
- Feeling pressured to sign documents or hand over control of their money
Emotional and Behavioural Warning Signs
- Becoming unusually anxious, fearful or withdrawn
- Losing confidence or making excuses for someone else’s behaviour
- A family member or caregiver acting overly controlling or constantly speaking for them
- Being cut off or isolated from seeing family, friends or social groups
Signs of Neglect or Physical Abuse
- Poor personal hygiene, sudden weight loss or malnutrition
- Unexplained bruises, cuts or injuries
- Missed medications or unmet basic medical and daily care needs
Dementia or Memory Changes
It can be harder to spot abuse if someone has dementia, as changes in behaviour are sometimes mistakenly blamed on their condition. Sudden shifts in fearfulness, withdrawal or unexplained financial activity may still be cause for concern.
What you can do
When taking action, your main goal is to support the older person while respecting their rights, dignity, independence and free will.
Listen Without Judgment
Find a quiet, private space to talk. Let them know you care and are concerned for their wellbeing. Listen carefully and take what they say seriously. It’s their wishes that matter.
Respect Autonomy
Older adults have the right to make their own decisions, even choices you might not agree with. Unless there is an immediate danger, always try to get consent before taking action on their behalf.
Keep a Simple Record
Having clear facts like dates, specific behaviours, observations or conversations can help if you need to speak with professional services later.
Offer Options, Not Demands
Share information about available support services so they feel empowered to make a choice when they are ready. Keep in touch regularly so they don’t feel isolated.
Who to Contact for Support
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Free and confidential support is available. Call our friendly team on 02 9281 3600
1800 ELDERHelp
1800 353 374
A free national hotline that connects you to specialist elder abuse services in your state or territory for advice and support.
National Dementia Helpline
1800 100 500
24/7 support if the person is living with dementia or memory loss.
compass.info
A national resource offering clear guides, local service directories and practical advice.
Immediate Danger
If you believe the person is in immediate physical danger, call 000 emergency services.
